A religious catastrophe

There are catastrophes technological, natural, economical, political. But it happened what we didn’t know that it may happen, a religious catastrophe.

Glory to God.

Some religious fanatic, sectarian, simply saying a radical Protestant once through study of the Greek text of the Gospel received a word from God, but misunderstood it.

Because of his idiotic error, he decided that he must marry the beauty Maria Putina, a daughter of Russian president (when she was not yet married), what is plainly a quite common false prophecy. Because it is impossible for a poor sectarian to meet Mary Putina, he started to masturbate thinking about her that Mary Putina would feel this telepathically and enjoyed this. I can’t say now for sure how much “effective” was this form of “sex” and whether Mary enjoyed, but further happened an error in the space.

Apparently the saint Mary in the heaven was sure that the main thing in the life is to make enjoyment for a neighbor. Fulfilling her philosophical idea, she started to invent all new poses for sex that the boy would feel it and enjoyed more. For this there were used giant calculating powers in the heaven. Certainly Mary understood that does something wrong but was unable to invent something better.

For his part, the sectarian who fell in love with the Holy Virgin was convinced that the purpose of life was to analyze the Bible and to carry out what was written there as accurately as possible. Armed with the dictionaries of the Greek and Hebrew languages, he proceeded to his plan. As I have already said, having read my non-standard translation in the Gospel, which clearly and correctly follows the grammar of the Greek language and at the same time constitutes an amazingly coherent and logical text that should completely convince the reader that this is an encrypted message from antiquity. But the absurdity has reached the limit.

Because of his religious fanaticism and dogmatism, about which he understood that he had some kind of fundamental error in religion, but did not understand what, as well as the usual bad luck, but to the extreme, the boy was a lot of torment in childhood. In addition, the brothers in faith for some reason did not help religious fanatics get out of the problems. To top it all off, this student made a significant scientific discovery, for which, in his opinion, he deserves a Nobel level award, if not higher. In a word, the most typical martyr, a faithful beggar, a great scientist and a saint. Yes, and a crazy genius. To top it all, the guy extremely greedily wanted to raise money for research and charity, and this greed, of course, met with the resistance of other people, which was one of the reasons that he almost died of starvation, but in contrast he decided not to do anything for himself because of being entangled in religious dogma. And that’s not it. See the links below to learn the depth of the absurdity that has occurred. It is probably impossible to describe what happened, read the links themselves below.

As befits a radical Protestant, he decided that since he was so offended, God’s wrath must come down from heaven and destroy the city of unbelieving sinners where these events took place. He found in the Gospel a confirmation of his idea.

But he was engaged in masturbation, but it was by the will of God. Confused, the boy waited for a nuclear war and expected that God would finally punish sinners, make him a famous and influential prophet, and reward Masha Putin, who in his opinion was not fundamentally different from St. Mary who had descended from heaven.

I am this idiot.

But God is tougher than we thought. I wrote about this so ridiculous article that now I seriously expect this “humor” in the news. This, I suppose, will lead to repentance of a billion people, and I will be made a billionaire. It seems an absurd conclusion, but it seems to me that what I wrote is really funnier than the grumpy cat and almost all other jokes from the Internet and logically should collect billions of views. Maybe I will be awarded another Nobel Prize in literature for several not very long articles in my blog. Now I’m not sure about anything. But it seems that soon the world will be completely different.

If you want to know what God has done or just laugh before you drop down, read my funny articles on the Internet:

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